Guest Columnist
by
Mary Jo Lewis, MDMeritCare Internal Medicine
Smart strategies for helping older parents stay healthy
If your parents* are in their 70s and beyond, you've likely seen some health changes. More than once, you've perhaps wondered how you might help and support them, while still respecting their privacy and choices. The following questions might help you:
Does your parent have a primary care doctor who takes an interest in older patients?
This is very important because as people age, they typically require more and more health care, including periodic screenings, adjustments in medication and on going care. A doctor who has an interest in and enjoys caring for older patients can be a real help to your parent.
Does your parent want you to have access to his/her medical information?
Your parent may want you to be able to obtain his/her confidential medical information over the telephone or in person. At MeritCare, this can be done by having a password. Your parent should choose a password, register it with MeritCare and then share it with you. MeritCare will not disclose information about your parent if you do not have the password. Passwords can be registered by calling (701) 234-2781 or (800) 437-4010. If your parent is not a MeritCare patient, be sure to ask how this is done where your parent receives care. Each doctor's office is different.
Does your parent have an up-to-date, complete list of medications?
If not, help put one together and keep it up-to-date. The average 75-year-old may take seven or eight different drugs a day to treat various illnesses. It's important that people know exactly what they're taking in order to prevent medication errors, including some that can be fatal.
How do you respond to your parent's health concerns?
The symptom might be fatigue, shortness of breath or twinges of pain, and the tendency might be to dismiss it as just a normal part of aging. A better response is: "Have you mentioned this to your doctor?" Encourage open communication between your parent and your parent's doctor.
Would your parent like help in preparing for a doctor visit?
If so, take the time to assist in getting organized, including an up-to-date medication list, a list of medical problems and a list of questions for the doctor. Some parents might even want a grown child to accompany them to the appointment. Most doctors welcome this, as long as it's the patient's choice and the patient still has every opportunity to speak. Part of a doctor's assessment involves seeing how the patient interacts and responds.
Does your parent have advance directives? For that matter, do you?
It's very important to know the specifics about what treatment your parent would want in case of grave illness and inability to make decisions. Keep a copy of your parent's advance directives, commonly termed "living will," and be certain that your parent's doctor has them, too. Learn more about advance directives.
One of the smartest strategies is ongoing communication. Call or visit your parent on a regular basis, observing and listening carefully. Ask how things are going. Ask how your parent would like you to be involved. Ask about potentially difficult situations before you get into them. And most importantly, discuss end-of-life care.
Respectful participation in a parent's care is not always easy, but it's well worth the effort, not just for your parent, but for you, too. Years from now, you want to be able to look back at this time in your life knowing you did your best and you did what needed to be done.
View a list of MeritCare doctors who specialize in geriatric care.
* Please note this column refers to older parents who have the mental capacity to make their own decisions.
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